Welcome Aboard the HMS Beagle!

So I was walking in the Amazon Rain-Forest the other day, looking for a worthy opponent and focusing my chi, and i discovered a strange hominid creature. It was a biped and about 4 feet tall, with a strange prehensile tail. As I approached it I also noticed that it had silvery green fur, which helped it blend in to its surroundings. It started to leave, and I followed it. At first it was walking, like a human would. But then as it went faster, it started running on all fours! I then observed it had viscous, sharp, claws, and dagger teeth. I realized "this is no herbivore, its a predator". This insight leads me to believe this animal walks on 2 legs for stealth, but on 4 for speed. Anyway I saw what this individual was heading towards. It was a whole group of such animals. As it approached the group this animal slowed down, and I approached the group. They didn't seem to sense my presence. No one sees me when I don't want to be seen. Up close I could see that the green animal I saw earlier had sharp bony protrusion from the pinky to the wrist on each hand, opposable thumbs,and the same protrusions on the heels of each foot. I also noticed this individual was male. Looking around i saw organisms that looked like a different species all around, however, I infer that these were the females. They were much smaller, and a darker brown color so as to better blend in with trees. I also noticed many other males, all with ranging shades of green. The females seemed to cluster around the darker shades, and from the looks of it my individual seemed fairly popular. I soon discovered the reason for such bony protrusions. My animal walked to a tree, used the claws on each of its digits, and climbed to a branch as thick as a short mans waist.. Once it reached its destination, it karate-chopped the branch in half using the bony protrusions, and let it fall to the floor. Then it raced down to tree. Other males were approaching the log hungrily, but my individual warded them away using a swift series of round house kicks, while balancing with its tail. As the other males retreated the male I watched set to work on the wood, eating both the sapwood and the heartwood. This animal is an omnivore. I've decided to name it Pugnacikus apeiaus.

That's the greatest creature ever! What a discovery for mankind and adaptations for that creature Mr.Mays

Whoaaa Anne, that sounds like a pretty swagged out animal! 

Dude, i saw the coolest thing when I was walking outside the studio today! It was this thing with like little paws and it was really furry and small. It kinda looked like a bunny and a lion mixed together. I didn't think it was from L.A. though, looked more like Europe to me, somewhere cold because it had really thick fur. That probably helps it a lot, like an adaptation. It might have been from France, cause it looks a lot like something a Racoon Dog would eat. (I learned what a Racoon Dog was!) Since the Racoon Dog eats small rodents it would probably try and eat this little fella. But this guy had some pretty sharp and curved claws. That might be another adaptation that helps it escape from predators. It was eating grass so I guess he lives somehwere with a lot of grass. So cool! Wish I could take him home with me!  Anyway, I gotta go y'all. Peace out!

Wow Anne!!! That sounds like an amazing creature!! Love the name, by the way! 

OMG, Catherine, that's so cool!!:) I want one! Can you have your personal assistant drive it down to my penthouse??:)  THANKS GURLLL<3  Oh, and what's a crumpet? jw.

OMG BRITTNEY WE TOTALLY NEED TO HIT UP THE CLUB SOMETIME BABE, YOU GOTTA SHOW ME THAT ANIMAL! YOU BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND AND I'LL BRING MINE! By the way can you hook me up with any of your single guy friends, I'm lonely after my breakup with Harry. You know what they say, the best way to get over a guy is to get a new one! ;---))))))

Well, Confucius, that sounds as a extremely extraordinary creature and I would love to write a poem about it, however during my stay in Naples, Italy, I have seem to come across as an extremely curious creature as well. I was taking a stroll in a garden, and  suddenly something yellow scurried across my feet and ran into the bushes. I walked over and I see a (smaller than a life size giraffe's head) giraffe head and neck popping out, however with a bee body, huge bird wings and a tiny squirrel tail! I was in awe for a few seconds, but then I noticed it wasn't afraid of me. Rather it came flitting up to me and purring! This bizarre creature had the strangest qualities, it moved swift like a snake and ate leaves and flowers. I watched it for a few hours and I have seem to observed that the huge bird wings were present for support of lifting the giraffe head up in the air to eat the leaves at the top of the trees and its elongated neck was present to accomplish the task of getting the leaves at the top. The climate was so pleasent with a warm breeze and some sun. There were some goats and sheep around, but the giraffe bee did not seem to mind nor they minded it.  

It's snowing in Virginia right now and while I was writing at my desk, I saw an ever strange creature fly past. I call it the foxflier. It had the body design of an artic fox, but the feet of a hawk and a sixteen foot wingspan. It's wings looked like the wings of a bat, but only white instead of the normal black. It also had long, rotating bat-like ears, that were also white. It travels around the north US during the winter and then the colder areas of Canada during the summer. I watched it for a while outside of my room and saw it swoop down and catch a bunny between it's sharp claws. It then proceeded to toss it up in the air and catch it with it's mouth. I suppose from that scene, it's a rather carnivorous animal. It's two adaptations seem to be it's white color and it's bat-like features. It's white fur and wings enable it to camoflauge perfectly with the snow within it's habitat. The bat wings enable it to fly and catch prey from above, and it is always helpful to have the element of suprise. It's ears enable the foxflier to hear from long distances and the rotation keeps the wind and snow from getting inside them. Before I could study it any futher, it flew away in a hurry. Maybe I shall write a poem about it.

My dearest Britney-

Wonderful creature with VERY cool adaptations! My buddy Tim Burton wanted me to ask you if he could use it as the main character in his next movie? Thanks babe~

-Johnny Depp

I used my billions of dollars to create an organism i named brutus intoplous. It lives everywhere as I have developed it to adapt insanely quick. Two examples are they have developed stronger legs improving ability to climb and run faster to avoid the many predators that try to eat it since it lives everywhere. Another applies to all except the ones living in very hot areas. They developed a layer of fat but still unknown how to science ways nothing. They developed this to keep them warm but it also deceives predators and prey as to how fast they are. The animal is an omnivore as it eats small animals and plants asswell as fish.

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH A NEW DISCOVERY I MADE. I WAS WALKING OUTSIDE AND I FOUND THIS AMAAZZZINGG CREATURE. IT WALKED ON FOUR POWWERRFULL, MUSCUULARR, AND SCALEYY LEGS. IM GUESSING THE SCALEY LEGS WERE AND ADAPTATION IT GAINED BECAUSE WHEN I FOUND IT, IT WAS IN A THORN BUSH. SO, THE TOUGH SCALES PROTECT THE BEAST FROM THE SPIKEY THORNS. ISN'T THAT GREEAATT?!?!?! AND GET THIS, IT HAD THE TEETH OF A BIG CAT WHICH HAD YET ANOTHER ADAPTATION, BECAUSE NOT ONLY DOES IT LET THEM EAT TOUGH PLANTS AND ANIMALS, BUT IT ALSO LET IT KILL IT'S PREY WITHIN  BLINK OF AN EYE! THESE ADAPTATIONS ALLOW THIS CREATURE TO BE MORE EVOLUTIONARYILY FIT IN ITS HABITAT (MOST LIKELY IN A RAIN FOREST WHERE THERE ARE A LOT OF THORN BUSHES AND POINTY SHRUBS ON THE GROUND). BECAUSE OF IT'S RAZOR SHARP TEETH, THIS CREATURE COULD BE A CARNIVORE. 

HI CONFUCIUS! DO YOU THINK I COULD ADVERTISE YOUR CREATURE IN ONE OF MY ADS? I REALLY LOVE YOUR CREATURE'S ADAPTATIONS. SO, IT WOULD GO LIKE THIS:

HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE SKINIVELS. HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR DEAD FISH? WELL GET A SKINIVEL AND FEED IT TO HIM. BUT WAIT THERES MORE, HIS ADAPTATIONS MAKE HIM EVEN MORE EVOLUTIONARILY FIT WHICH ALLOWS HIM TO REPRODUCE AND MAKE MORE SKINIVELS. THAT WAY YOU GET MORE FISH IN YOUR AQUARIUM AND YOU CAN KEEP LETTING YOUR SKINIVELS EAT THEM!! IT'S A WIN-WIN SITUATION! SO, IF YOU WANT THIS CREATURE IN YOUR HOUSE, CALL NOW AT 1(800)-CREA-TURE. BUT GET THIS, IF YOU CALL NOW WE'LL DOUBLE YOUR OFFER AAAAANNDDDD GIVE YOU A FREE BUCKET OF FISH! YOU CAN'T FIND AN OFFER BETTER THAN THIS ANWHERE ELSE! SO, CALL NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!!

I believe I know of a creature that seems to have evolved quite rapidly, and has only come to be after the proliferation of my own AC electrical distribution lines. I have not yet named it, though Columba tesla seems appropriate. I have observed this flying creature perch on telephone poles, as if it is "feeding" on electromagnetic flux from the distribution transformers. Its adaptation is to breed in cities where AC electrification has occurred, which would mainly be urban areas. I have never seen any one of these creatures eat any plants or other animals as food, so it does not require any vegetation or other organisms to feed upon. Basically, this "bird" can live in any environment as long as it has access to above ground power lines and a fresh source of water for drinking. It also seems to be very picky about where on the pole it nests, which is directly between two phases or one phase and the ground conductor. This behavior is probably beneficial because it can receive the most EMF in this position. Of course, this electrocutes any predators who try to approach the nest. Its population appears to be expanding at the same rate as AC power lines are being built. I assume that it will be found on every corner of the earth once global electrification has occurred. This includes cold climates, as distribution transformers produce enough heat to satisfy its liking for warm locations.